"I want to dye my hair." Hankyung announced. "Are you busy?"
Yesung rolled his eyes. This wasn't going to end well. He knew enough to know that as soon as the color was on, Hankyung would complain. He always complained, more so if it looked good on him.
"I can cancel." He answered as they started walking.
He had "plans" if you could call them that. He has wanted to talk to Ryeowook and finally put an end to things. It wasn't that Siwon had made him realize anything, no, Siwon had nothing to do with this. He just wanted to be free, to get rid of what was bothering, to have the chance to look again. He wanted love and he wasn't going to find that with Ryeowook. But, that conversation could wait.
He toyed with the idea of telling Eunhyuk and Hankyung everything, but decided that it wasn't the right time. He would wait until Hankyung was alright, until he had Heechul again, although Heechul deserved to be dumped. It was impossible to watch the way he treated Hankyung, the way he intentionally touched Siwon whenever Hankyung came close and not want wish Hankyung someone better. But, Hankyung didn't want anyone, but Heechul.
"I think Ryeowook and I are going to end things." He said carefully.
"Why? What did he do? Do I go kill him now?"
Yesung smiled at the anger in Hankyung's voice. How could he ever get tired of that protectiveness? It belonged only to Hankyung though. No one else.
"No, you don't have to kill him." Yesung said. "We just need a break that's all."
"Wow, the world really is going to end now. Our Yesungie is dumping the playboy." Eunhyuk said his voice awed.
Yesung had been right. As soon as they left the hair salon, Hankyung had started complaining. Eunhyuk had disappeared, not knowing how to deal with the agitated blond, because Hankyung was a blond again, a very attractive blond.
"Hankyung, you know it looks good, so stop complaining. Heechul is going to love it."
"I don't care. I can't believe I let myself do this. I can't believe you let me do this. Where is your sense of Hankyung Yesung? How could you let me do this?"
Yesung laughed. He reached over and took a strand of blond hair in his hands. He put his other hand on Hankyung's head and gently massaged his fingers through the soft hair. He watched amused as Hankyung sat down, obedient and calm.
"Okay, now that you calmed down, we can talk about this like grown-ups."
"No, now that I calmed down, we can talk about Ryeowook. What did he do to you?"
Yesung shrugged. He didn’t know if he was ready to talk about it. He didn’t want an overreaction. He didn’t want Hankyung to go and hurt Ryeowook. He wanted comfort. He wanted to be held and told that it was going to be okay. It wasn’t even about Ryeowook anymore. It was about Yesung and how he was afraid. He didn’t like how vulnerable he felt. He didn’t like how scared he was, how very afraid he felt.
“Hankyung, do you think that there’s something wrong with me?”
“No, there’s nothing wrong with you.” Hankyung answered immediately. “You’re perfect just the way you are. I like you the way you are. If you change I’m going to have to hurt Ryeowook.”
Yesung laughed because it was so stupid. He hated how Hankyung always knew the right thing to say. He hated how Hankyung hadn’t even done much and he was already feeling better. He wanted to mope some more.
“Why does nothing work for me?” He asked. “Ever since I left you I can’t find anyone else. Every time I try, something goes wrong. Is it me? Were you glad when I left you? Should I just let it go and accept that I’m never going to have what you have, what Eunhyuk has?”
Hankyung stood and pulled Yesung against him. “There’s nothing wrong with you. You don’t know what it did to me when you left. I was a mess, so much more than when Heechul left because I hadn’t felt something like that before. How could I ever be happy that you left? I was so happy with you. I didn’t want anything else. I loved you so much. I love you and if there had been no Heechul, I would still be in love with you.”
Hankyung sighed. “Yesung, I was still stupidly in love with you until I met Heechul. Why do you think I was always so angry when you went off with your boyfriend? Why do you think I cared so damn much? I’m so annoying when I’m jealous.”
Yeusng closed his eyes. He felt so comfortable there with Hankyung. It was familiar, so warm, so loving.
“Maybe I’m still in love with you.” Yesung said.
He felt more than heard Hankyung’s laugh. He smiled when Hankyung placed a kiss on his cheek.
“Yesung you let me go the minute you fell in love with Ryeowook.”
“Maybe. Maybe I should have never let you go. Maybe this is what I get for letting you go when there was nothing wrong with us.” Yesung sighed. “I shouldn’t have let you go. If I hadn’t I would have never cared about Ryeowook. You would have never cared about Heechul and we wouldn’t be hurting right now.”
“Love wasn’t meant to be easy. You’ll get there.” Hankyung said. “And if it makes you feel any better, Heechul will never have what you have.”
“And what’s that?”
“You were my first love. I gave you everything I had. You knew me way before anyone else did. And I’ll always be a little jealous of whoever gets to keep you and maybe even a little smug because I loved you first and you loved me first. Heechul will always be a little jealous of you too, but I am so lucky to be his first and hopefully his last.”
“It works both ways.” Yesung pointed out. “I had you first, but I’m jealous that Heechul gets to keep you.”
Hankyung laughed. “We could just throw them away and get back together.”
“Hm? Why would I want to date you?”
“Because,” Hankyung whispered in Yesung’s ear. “You know you’d like it.”
Yesung shoved him way. “Shut up.”
Hankyung laughed. Yesung took his hand and they sat back down on the couch.
“Let go Yesung. If Ryeowook wasn’t the one then span out a bit. For all you know the love of your life could be right behind you in class.”
“You’re such a romantic sap.” Yesung said rolling his eyes.
“Would you mind telling Heechul that?”
Yesung frowned. “How do you know he’ll come back?”
“I don’t.” Hankyung answered serenely. “All I know is that I love him and how to love him. If he doesn’t come back I can’t do anything but love him, since that’s all I know how to do.”
“Ugh, if that’s what love does to you, then I don’t want it.”
“You know you do.” Hankyung said leaning back and putting an arm around Yesung.
Yesung put his head against Hankyung’s shoulder.
“Yes.” He said. “I do.”
Yesung didn't know what to do. He knew the song, recognized it for what it was the minute it came on. He could see Hankyung relaxed, calm and he took his cue from his friend. Heechul really didn't deserve Hankyung. Yesung had to bite his lip to keep quiet when Heechul implied that the song was nothing. He knew it meant a lot to Hankyung.
He had seen the way Hankyung had worked to make it perfect and now Heechul was throwing it away. It was sad really, the way Heechul couldn't recognize that soothing voice that was overflowing with love. Yesung had to admit that he was a bit jealous. Hankyung had moved on, too far for him to ever be able to reach him. Not that he wasn't happy for his friend, but it was nice to have been first for so many years.
"This song was sung by Hankyung."
Yesung watched Heechul. He saw the surprised look. He saw the longing, but Hankyung was gone. Yesung debated going after him, but decided that he had to let Heechul know something first. He waited as the whole cafeteria burst into talk, people looking their way and girls screaming Hanchul at the top of their lungs. It was amusing how they came up with these names so quickly.
Their table was the only quiet one. The tension hung heavy between everyone. The divisions were clear: Eunhyuk and Yesung on one side and Heechul on the other. Yesung didn't know where Siwon stood, not that he cared anyway.
"Well, that was something." Siwon said trying to ease the tension.
"Shut up, you're not helping." Kyuhyun said getting up. "I don't know about everyone else, but I'm sick of the way Heechul treats Hankyung hyung. Yes, I know I'm being disrespectful, but honestly hyung, there is no one better for you than Hankyung. He loves you. What is wrong with you and how could you not recognize his voice? You really are something else."
Yesung agreed. He couldn't see what Heechul wanted. What more could he ask for. Hankyung had done everything, given him everything, handed his heart over in a silver platter. Yesung was jealous again, jealous because he wanted that, missed it so much, wanted someone to give his heart to, someone who would take care of it the way Hankyung once had.
And then it occurred to him as he watched Heechul leave, that maybe he could try again. Heechul wasn’t going to see Hankyung, not yet, but he would soon. And if Heechul was going to finally go after Hankyung then why couldn’t he go after someone too? Why couldn’t he try? What could he possibly have to lose?
He sneaked a peak at the people around him. Donghae and Eunhyuk were involved in a heated discussion about nothing in particular. Yesung watched as Siwon came to stand between them. He laughed along with everyone else as both Eunhyuk and Donghae glared.
“Don’t touch him.” they chorused.
“Ew, that was so cute.” Kyuhyun muttered frowning. “Stop it.”
“Aw, but Kyuhyunnie, it’s adorable.” Sungmin said effectively causing Kyuhyun to blush.
Everyone waited for the don’t call me that which usually followed the use of Kyuhyun’s nickname. It never came. Yesung watched Kyuhyun who was busy avoiding everyone’s eye. He didn’t know if he was happy for Kyuhyun or annoyed that there was someone else how had handed his heart over.
“I’m leaving.” Ryeowook announced pulling Yesung out of his thoughts. “Want to come Yesung?”
Yesung nodded. “I have something to talk to you about actually. But, you’re going to have to give me a minute. I need to talk to Siwon.”
He ignored the glare from Wookie and the surprise on Siwon’s face. He pulled Siwon over to one side where no one could hear them. He opened his mouth fully prepared to ask his question, but it was too much. He wasn’t the type to be open and forward. It was slightly intimidating actually.
“What is it hyung?” Siwon asked.
Yesung took a deep breath, looked at his shoes, counted to ten and looked back up. He saw Siwon’s amused expression and had to look back down. He followed the pattern on the floor, counted to fifty and tried again and was surprised to see Siwon’s face so close to his.
“You know what?” Siwon said. “I think you look so cute when you’re nervous.”
Yesung blushed. “I wish I could say the same about you.”
Siwon laughed. “I never get nervous. Why should I?”
Yesung rolled his eyes. What was he doing? Did he really want to go out with this conceited, stuck up little child? He could do better, way better. He didn’t need Siwon. He didn’t even know why he was asking Siwon in the first place.
But, he did. He knew why he wanted to ask Siwon. He knew, no matter how much he tried to deny it, that he wanted to see where that one kiss could go. Because, it had made him feel something that he could faintly remember from a long time ago. It had brought a strong feeling of well-being. And he wanted to see where that would lead.
“Siwon.” He said softly looking up into the other man’s eyes. “What would you say if I were to ask you out?”
He liked the way Siwon’s mouth dropped open. He liked the way Siwon’s eyes lost that smug look. He got to see for one instant the real Siwon, the Siwon who was just as flustered, just as nervous as he was. But, it was only one second.
“I would say, stay away from Ryeowook.”
Yesung winked. “Well, it’s a good thing we’re not going out then.”
He made to leave and he got halfway to Ryeowook before Siwon caught his arm. Yesung turned around.
“Today,” Siwon said. “Come take a drive with me. We’ll go see a movie.”
Yesung smirked. “You mean a date?”
He waited his heart thumping nice and comfortably in his chest. Was he really doing this? Was he really playing with Choi Siwon? He knew it was a date. He didn’t need Siwon to tell him that, but it was fun watching him squirm.
“Yes.” Siwon said his voice stronger. “It’s a date.”
Yesung flashed his Golden Boy smile and walked back to Ryeowook. He ignored the hand that Ryeowook offered and led the way.
Yesung and Ryeowook turned. Siwon was leaning against the far wall behind all the people.
“If you’re not back here in twenty minutes, I’m going to go get you.”
Yesung smiled at all the approving yells and looked away. But, he caught a glimpse of Donghae and the rest of them. The looks in the eyes of the other boys let Yesung know that everyone was aware of what Ryeowook had done. He knew because their eyes were sympathetic and then happy at Siwon’s yell.
He shook of the betrayed feeling. He knew that Donghae would always protect his friend and Yesung was sure that the only reason Eunhyuk knew now was because Donghae had finally told him. And as for the other boys, well it was hard not to notice the things Ryeowook did.
Maybe that was why there was so much support for Siwon.
A/N: *searches frantically* Where's the Yewon? I could have sworn there was some Yewon there? O: OMG where is it??????? And now...back to normal or well some semblance of normal. XD Okay so I might have gotten a bit carried away there and before you ask. NO HANNIE IS IN LOVE WITH HEECHUL NOT YESUNGIE. And Yesung does NOT love Hannie that way anymore. So now that we cleared that up. I need me some YeHan...*sigh* Some GengMi would be nice. Some Hanchul. Some KyuHan, some KyuMin, some something!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!! okay =) I hope I didn't scare you and that you liked the chapter.<3