Yesung was sitting outside the dorm when Siwon came out. He hadn’t gotten very far when he realized that it really was his room and he didn’t have to leave.
“You shouldn’t sit on the floor. It’s cold.” Siwon said.
Yesung looked up but the other man refused to look at him. He sighed inwardly and stood.
“I’ll see you around Siwonnie.” Yesung said.
He heard the vague answer from Siwon and instead of going back to the dorm he went for the stairs. He didn’t know why it was so upsetting to know that Siwon wasn’t ready. He should have known that it would be like that. Siwon was young. It was normal for him to have insecurities and doubts. Yesung did have the more experience out of the two, so he should be understanding.
Siwon would come to his senses or so Yesung hoped. No matter how much time it took, he would wait. He would wait because he knew Siwon wasn’t indifferent, just scared. And Yesung had enough patience and time to wait for Siwon.
“Yesung!” Eunhyuk called louder than he should have. “Yesung! Come here right now. I need to know why I just saw—”
“Be quiet Hyukkie.” Yesung heard Donghae say.
“I won’t be quiet. I need to know what and I need to know why.”
Yesung frowned. He walked over to the staircase and saw Eunhyuk and Donghae having some sort of wrestling match. Donghae had his arms wrapped tight around Eunhyuk and Eunhyuk was fighting to get free. Yesung watched amused as Eunhyuk managed to get free and halfway up the stairs before Donghae pulled him back.
The two ended up on the floor in a tangle of limbs.
“Ow Hae, get off.”
“I don’t want to.” Donghae answered. “You can’t go running around saying things like that and expect me to let it go.”
“I have every right to want to kill him. You never told me how bad it was. I should go tell Hankyung hyung and have him take care of it.” Eunhyuk said managing to get into a sitting position.
“What are they doing?”
Yesung turned to look at Siwon. Siwon looked back at him and there was no hint of anything in those eyes. So, they were going to play this game. They were going to pretend that they didn’t care, that it was okay, that they hadn’t been kissing each other in Yesung’s room a while ago.
“I don’t know.” Yesung answered leaning against the railing and looking down at Donghae and Eunhyuk.
Siwon leaned over him to look down at the other two who were now bickering about something that Yesung couldn’t hear.
“Uh, Siwon?” Yesung asked moving back so that Siwon wouldn’t touch him as he leaned over him. “Do you mind moving over. I sort of need to breathe here.”
Siwon laughed and Yesung was glad that at least he could tease and be okay.
“But, I don’t want to move hyung.”
“Move. I’m not moving and I was here first.”
“I said I don’t want to move.”
Yesung opened his mouth to complain about how annoying Siwon was being when Eunhyuk finally managed to get up the stairs.
“Yesungie, I need to talk to you about Ryeowook.”
Yesung felt Siwon stiffen besides him.
“Why?” Siwon asked for Yesung.
“Why didn’t you tell us about Jessica?” Eunhyuk asked. “You do know that now Hankyung hyung is going to have to kill him?”
Yesung frowned. Jessica? They knew about Jessica?
Yesung tried to think back to what Ryeowook had done with Jessica. They couldn’t possibly be talking about the dance. That dance had happened a long time ago and Ryeowook had been very careful.
“What about Jessica?” Siwon asked for him.
“Wookie and Jessica are…well…”Donghae trailed off.
“You have to go talk to Ryeowook.” Eunhyuk said. “He said he’s leaving.”
“Leaving?” Yesung asked.
“Yes, he’s leaving.” Donghae said quietly. “I know he wants to talk to you, but he’s too scared to come looking for you.”
Yesung looked at the wall in front of him. Ryeowook was leaving.
“Where is he going?”
“To the United States.” Donghae answered still in that same quiet, neutral voice.
Ryeowook was leaving.
“Where is he?” Yesung asked his own voice carefully controlled.
“You don’t have to go see him.” Siwon said. “He doesn’t deserve you worrying over him. You don’t have to go.”
Yesung looked at Siwon. Wookie didn’t deserve worry? He shouldn’t go?
But, the problem was that Yesung was worried. He did worry and would probably always worry, because despite whatever had happened between them, Wookie was still a friend. Even if they hadn’t worked as a couple, they’d had enough time as friends for Yesung to worry. And the United States was a very faraway place.
“Where is he?” Yesung asked Donghae.
“He’s at the recording room.”
Yesung nodded. He was halfway down the stairs when Siwon called him. He turned and there was Siwon looking down at him, the expression in his eyes clearly saying that Yesung should stay. It was almost pleading in a way, but Yesung had to go. He had to. It was Ryeowook and he was leaving.
“I’ll be back soon.” Yesung said before turning away.
He ran down the stairs and right for the recording room. Ryeowook was leaving. He couldn’t understand it, didn’t know why it bothered him so much. He was over Ryeowook wasn’t he? He had Siwon now…or well had Siwon for a few seconds before the other man said he couldn’t do it.
Yesung was rounding the corner when he spotted Jessica. She was coming out of the recording room. Yesung slowed down as he walked over to her. She looked up when he was still a good distance away and Yesung saw the tear tracks on her face even though she tried to wipe them away.
“Jessica? What’s wrong?” Yesung asked.
She looked at him and the smile she gave him was so sad, it broke Yesung’s heart.
“I didn’t know.” She whispered her voice thick with her unshed tears. “I swear I didn’t know. I thought he was done with you. I thought he really liked me. I thought I could give it a try.”
Yesung waited. He knew where this story was going. He knew why Jessica was crying. It was Ryeowook being Ryeowook again, Ryeowook trying to keep his heart safe.
“He asked me to marry him.” She said.
Yesung stared at her open mouthed. Ryeowook? Asking someone to marry him? Ryeowook?
“I told him no.”
Yesung saw the pain in Jessica’s eyes and that over took any other emotion he might have felt.
“He asked you to marry him?”
“And you said no?”
“I said no.”
Yesung looked at the girl in front of him. She didn’t look happy. She didn’t look relieved. She was upset. That much was clear. And if she was upset then that meant that the rejection she had given Ryeowook wasn’t what she wanted.
“Why did you say no?” Yesung asked not sure about how he felt about the news yet.
“I said no because he was dating you when he asked me to the dance. Because he doesn’t love me enough.”
“How do you know he doesn’t?”
Jessica turned her big brown eyes to Yesung. “I can’t be sure and as long as I’m not sure I can’t say yes.”
Yesung didn’t know what to tell her. He couldn’t say anything because he himself knew what Ryeowook was capable of. He couldn’t lie to her because he didn’t know either. So, he said nothing. He saw the small sad smile on Jessica’s face and still said nothing as she walked away.
He turned. “Yes?”
“I just want you to know that I never meant to hurt you and I am really sorry about what happened before. I didn’t know this time I swear, but I’m sorry. I’m sorry for both me and him. And…” She paused and looked at Yesung. “I just wanted to let you know that I’m leaving. I don’t think I can be here while Ryeowook is here. I’m…I’m going to go to America to New York.”
“Why are you telling me?” he asked knowing her answer already.
It was there in her eyes. He knew what she was going to say even before she opened her mouth to say it.
“Maybe I want to make sure that he knows how to find me if he decides to come after me. And maybe I’m hoping he will come after me.”
Yesung watched her walk away and finally knew how he felt about this. He just needed to talk to Ryeowook. He made his way to the recording studio. He made sure that the door was closed behind him. He knew that Ryeowook would be sitting down near the recording room, but not inside. Yesung found him easily enough.
“Hello Yesung.” Ryeowook said when he saw him.
“Hello Wookie.” Yesung answered keeping a fair distance away.
It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Ryeowook. It was just that no matter how hard he tried it wasn’t going to be the same trust again. It was sad, but it was the truth.
“What are you doing here?’ Ryeowook asked.
“I came to find you because I heard that you’re leaving.” Yesung said. “I wanted to ask you why. And ask you about Jessica.”
Ryeowook laughed, actually laughed and for a second Yesung thought that nothing had changed. But, when he looked over at the other man he saw the same sad look he had seen in Jessica’s eyes. He saw the faint trace of tears and he couldn’t help what he said next.
“You love her.”
Ryeowook looked at him. There was a strange look in his eyes. It was almost nostalgic, almost yearning.
“I miss how you could always read me so well Yesung.”
Yesung smiled despite himself. “You’re not that hard to read Wookie.”
They were silent for a second. Yesung knew what was going to happen. He knew the minute Jessica told him that she was going to New York. He knew what he had to do, what Wookie wanted to do, what Jessica wanted. He knew even before Ryeowook did, that he had to tell him.
“She wants you to go after her.” Yesung said.
Ryeowook laughed. “I want to Yesung. I really do, but I have to go. My parents are moving. America, can you believe it? America? Of all the places in the world they had to go and pick the one that is furthest from her.”
“She’s going to New York.” Yesung continued hoping that he was doing the right thing.
He saw the look in Ryeowook’s eyes and knew he had done the right thing.
“Thank you. Thank you so much Yesung. And I am so—”
“Don’t be.” Yesung smiled. “Just promise me that you’ll be happy and that you won’t hold back anymore. Promise me that you’ll finally let yourself feel what you didn’t want to feel with me.”
He swallowed past the lump in his throat as Ryeowook came to him. They looked at each other and Yesung knew that he could never hate Ryeowook. He couldn’t and that’s why he let Wookie hug him.
“Goodbye.” Wookie said letting him go. “Be happy with Siwon please.”
Yesung nodded. He watched Ryeowook walk out the door. Was he sad? Yes. Did he wish Ryeowook could stay? Maybe. Did he want Ryeowook to be happy? Yes. Always yes.
He didn’t realize there were tears in his eyes until he left the recording studio and saw Siwon waiting for him right outside. Yesung looked at him and the pained look in Siwon’s eyes was more comforting than he thought it would be. Yesung went over to him and buried his face in Siwon’s embrace.
Siwon sighed. “I know.”
Yesung hugged Siwon hard and was so glad he had him. He was glad that Siwon was here and real and comforting. It didn’t even matter that Siwon said he didn’t want to try, because Yesung knew he could outwait Siwon and he didn’t want to lose him. He’d give Siwon time. He’d give him all the time in the world as long as Siwon was here and real.
“It’s okay.” Siwon murmured putting his head on top of Yesung’s. “It’s okay Sungie. I’m here.”
A/N: So, here's the thing. I am going to do a double posting today only because I won't be able to post tomorrow and I don't want to leave you all waiting for the next chapter. So, you can have this chapter and the last chapter later today too. And then...I am going to go on a mini break. We have our college break and I go back home tomorrow and once I'm at home I will have no time what so ever to post. I will come back on Sunday and post then. It'll be at the same time as always and it's going to be the Kyumin (yes Jann Jann finally =D) So this is me saying goodbye for now until I post the next chapter later and I'll see you guys soon <3