Eunhyuk leaned against the wall. He was nursing a beer in one hand and there were more around him, some open and some not. He closed his eyes and tried to shut out the pain. The hot tears that rolled down his cheeks burned him. He wiped them away and dropped to his knees.
He groaned. “Go away Yesung.”
“What are you doing?”
“What does it look like? I’m drinking”
“Yesung, where’s Eunhyuk?” Eunhyuk heard Hankyung call.
Eunhyuk sighed disgusted. Couldn’t they all just leave him alone? The last thing he wanted now was a lecture. He stood and almost fell over. He leaned heavily on Yesung to keep still. He blinked when the lights went on. Hankyung was by the door.
“Eunhyuk, what happened? What the hell did you do? Why are you drinking?”
“Why?” Eunhyuk gasped. “Why? Because I’m so tired of feeling. Because I want to forget. Because I’m tired of hurting. Because I can’t take it anymore! I’m hurting and I’m sick of it!”
“Hyukkie,” Hankyung said coming over and taking his hand. “What happened?”
Eunhyuk fell to the floor and Hankyung followed him. Eunhyuk looked up at Hankyung. He knew he was worrying his friends, but saying it out loud would make it too real. And it couldn’t be real, not yet, not now when he wasn’t ready for it.
“What’s wrong?” Hankyung murmured putting a hand in Eunhyuk’s hair. “You can tell me and Yesung. Tell your hyung. He’ll make it better.”
He hadn’t heard Hankyung use that tone before. It hinted at how scared he had made them. He took a deep breath, but instead of saying anything he just reached for Hankyung. He sobbed into his hyung’s shirt for a long time. He felt Yesung’s hand on his hair and knew that both were saying things to him. He couldn’t hear what it was. He didn’t care. He was too focused on the pain that twisted his heart violently.
“Sh, it’s okay.” Hankyung was murmuring. “Things happen all the time. Whatever it is, time will make it better. I’m here. If you need anything, tell me.”
“Hankyung-sshi’s right. You would feel better if you told us what happened.”
Eunhyuk sighed. He moved from Hankyung’s comforting embrace. He leaned his head back into the wall. Yesung moved to kneel in front of him next to Hankyung.
“Donghae.” He whispered. “Donghae told me…he said…he’s with Yoona now.”
“Yoona?” Yesung asked and Eunhyuk didn’t miss the look he exchanged with Hankyung.
“Yeah, Yoona. He’s dating her. He always loved her. He only dated me because she liked me and he wanted to hurt me. He doesn’t care about me. He even told me that he doesn’t love me. He…he thanked me for last night.”
Eunhyuk was surprised at how dead his voice sounded. It wasn’t like him.
“Eunhyuk.” Hankyung said holding him roughly by the shoulders. “Say that one more time, very slowly, so that there’s no mistake when I go kill him.”
Eunhyuk pushed him away. He had felt the ring on his finger. He slipped it off and threw it as hard as he could at the window. The impact made a loud noise and the ring bounced off.
“Ow!” Yesung cried. “The window’s closed!”
“I got it.” Hankyung said moving to open the window.
Eunhyuk glared at him. He hadn’t missed the smile Hankyung was trying to hide. He leaned forward and picked up the ring. He looked at Donghae’s name.
“Wait!” Yesung said jumping up. “Don’t hit me.”
Eunhyuk glared at him too and threw the ring out the window. He watched it fly out and felt sick. He wanted to jump after the ring. He needed it. He needed it like he needed to breathe. He wanted it. He wanted Donghae. He was so tired.
“Yesung? He threw it out already.”
Eunhyuk turned. Yesung was in a corner with his hands over his face. He watched as Yesung peeked out.
“Is it safe?”
Eunhyuk’s mouth dropped open. The whole scene before him was so ridiculous that he had to laugh. They laughed and Eunhyuk felt better. And then, Hankyung wrapped him in his arms and kissed his forehead.
Eunhyuk nodded. “Thanks hyung. But, you and Yesung have to go soon. Today was the day we all agreed to have dinner.”
“I don’t want to go.” Yesung said. “And I don’t think Hankyung can look at Donghae without killing him.”
“Oh, no, I can go.” Hankyung said. “I’ll go kill him.”
“No, don’t.” Eunhyuk said. “He’s probably with Yoona and I don’t want to have to bother them. I don’t want to think about them. I just want to sit here and watch T.V, but don’t let this hurt you. This is strictly between me and Donghae. Heechul and Ryeowook have nothing to do with this. Go have fun.”
“I don’t think I could stomach Yoona and Donghae right now.” Hankyung warned.
“Then stay please.” Eunhyuk said voicing what he most wanted.
Hankyung smiled. Eunhyuk accepted the hand that Yesung offered. He stretched and started picking up the mess he made. When they were done he sat down between Hankyung and Yesung on the couch. He didn’t even realize when he fell asleep.
Donghae looked up. Ryeowook looked seriously worried, but he didn’t want to think about Wookie. He wanted to sit alone and plan a way to kill Yoona. He didn’t want to think about Eunhyuk. Every time he got close to that, he’d see Eunhyuk’s scared eyes. He’d see the hurt and he knew it was his fault.
“You do know that you screwed us over, right?” Heechul called.
“Yeah, Yesung and Hankyung are going to think that we knew.” Wookie said. “I just fixed things with him.”
“I know!” Donghae snapped. “I know already. You don’t have to tell me. I get it. I’m sorry.”
He was so tired of hearing Ryeowook complain. The only problem he had was that he was too jealous. He didn’t have any problem when it came to Yesung. Everyone could see that Yesung was in love with him. And Heechul had no problem either. Hankyung was stupid enough to accept him. What more could Heechul want?
“You know?” Heechul asked.
“Yes, I know and my issue with Eunhyuk shouldn’t affect you. Wook, you have no problem. Yesung loves you. Get over your damn jealousy already. And I don’t see why you’re complaining Heechul. You and Hankyung are perfect for each other. He can stand to be with you.”
“Alright then, cut the act.” Heechul said.
“Don’t be cute.” Heechul said eyeing him closely. “I don’t buy this crap for a second. You hate Yoona. You were practically bursting with jealousy when she was all over Eunhyuk. You kissed him. You talked about him all summer. You made me drag Hankyung away yesterday. You don’t try so hard with someone you don’t care about.”
“I just wanted it to hurt.”
But, even he didn’t believe it. The look on Ryeowook and Heechul’s faces didn’t help either. Heechul raised an eyebrow.
“You don’t spend so much time with someone you want to hurt. I would know.” Wookie said.
“He’s right, Hae. You and Eunhyuk were together too long for this to be a joke. But, you did chose the right to dump him, isn’t your anniversary coming up?” Heechul said.
Donghae swallowed back the lump in his throat. He looked away.
“What is it, Donghae?” Wookie asked putting an arm around him.
“Yoona.” He muttered from Wookie’s shoulder.
“Yoona? What does she have to do with this?” Heechul asked.
“Her and my idiot of a cousin.” Donghae growled.
He moved away and started pacing. It was better to be angry. When he was angry he didn’t have to feel pain. If he was angry he wouldn’t think of Eunhyuk. He wouldn’t feel that last kiss. He wouldn’t think of the night before. If he was angry, it wouldn’t hurt.
“My cousin, the idiot, got Yoona’s sister pregnant. My father’s adoptive son got a girl pregnant, not just any girl, the daughter of the company’s main costumer. Do you have any idea what that would do to the family? That would dishonor us, not to mention the money we would lose. Yoona’s father would take 50% of our income if he and his followers left. He has influence and a lot of it. If we lose him we’re done.”
“But, you don’t know for sure that you’ll lose the money.” Wookie said. “I mean think. He doesn’t want to lose business either.”
Donghae and Heechul turned to look at him. Donghae wanted to laugh at the innocence.
“Wookie, what would you do if you found out that the son of the man you give your money to got your daughter pregnant?” Heechul asked.
“Right, I see your point. Go on.”
“Yoona’s sister is pregnant and if her father finds out, my family is ruined.”
“So, Yoona’s sister is blackmailing you?”
“No. Yoona says she’s too stupid to realize what she can do with this. Yoona told me that she’d tell her father unless I ended things with Eunhyuk. It was my family or what I wanted and you know what we’re taught as soon as we can think: family always comes first. Yoona said that if I don’t do what she says she’s going to add herself. She’s willing to tell her father that she’s pregnant too. Can you imagine my father’s son and his adoptive son with two pregnant sisters? It’ll destroy the family.”
“No, but how long do you think it would take her to get pregnant? By the time anyone does a paternity test, it’ll be too late.”
“But, Hae, you can call your father.” Wookie said. “He’ll do something.”
Donghae laughed bitterly. “He told me to do what Yoona says until he can find a way to fix it.”
“Then you can tell Eunhyuk. You told us. There has to be something.” Wookie insisted.
Donghae sat down. He ran a hand through his hair and then pulled at it. He was so frustrated. He wanted to throw something. He wished he were anyone, but Lee Donghae. He didn’t want to have this on him. He wished his mother hadn’t left. He wished his father cared a bit more. And he wished Eunhyuk were here to hug him and tell him it would be okay.
But, Eunhyuk wasn’t here. Eunhyuk was somewhere with Hankyung and Yesung hating him at this moment. And his mother wasn’t here either. And he was Lee Donghae.
“I can’t tell him.” Donghae sighed. “If he knew I wouldn’t be able to control myself and that’s all Yoona needs, one mistake. One mistake and she tells her father, one mistake and my family is ruined. I can tell you because Yoona said I can.”
“She’s a manipulative bitch isn’t she?” Heechul asked pleasantly.
“You don’t how lucky you are. Stop being so damn jealous all the time Wook. Don’t push Yesung away, because it hurts. It hurts when you lose them.”
Donghae turned away. He tried to swallow past the lump in his throat and couldn’t.
“Hae, Eunhyuk would have to be an idiot to think that you would really leave him after all you’ve done for him.” Heechul said putting an arm on his shoulder.
“But that’s just it.” Donghae cried, pacing again. “I’ve given him nothing. He has nothing, no reason to believe that I lied. I never showered him with gifts like you did to Hankyung. I didn’t have random bouts of jealousy like you Wookie. I gave him one gift yesterday. I told him I loved him for the first time two days ago.”
Donghae stopped. He turned his face away. Tears stung his eyes and he had to take a deep breath before he could talk again.
“I can count the number of times I told him I loved him in one hand and I’d still have fingers left over.” He stopped his voice breaking. “You have no clue how much I wish I had told him I loved him sooner. He only has that ring with my name on it. He probably threw it out already.”
“But, he loves you.” Wookie insisted.
“Not after what I’m going to do to him.”
“What are you going to do?”
“I don’t want to talk about it. It’s bad enough that I have to do it.”
Donghae turned away. He didn’t want to look at Wookie. That worried expression reminded him of Eunhyuk. He didn’t realize that he was crying until Heechul took his face in his hands. Donghae closed his eyes as Heechul brushed away his tears.
“It’s like Hankyung said, things happen.” Heechul whispered. “When this is all over you can tell Eunhyuk. The kid is crazy about you. He loves you. He’ll understand. You just have to wait and hope that your father will pull through.”
Donghae nodded. Heechul was right. Eunhyuk would forgive him. Eunhyuk would understand. Eunhyuk had to understand. He loved him. Everything would be fine. He just had to wait.
“Donghae, we’re here.” Wookie called softly.
And he did know, but it wasn’t enough. He wanted someone else and that someone else wouldn’t be there probably would never be there again. He had broken his relationship with Eunhyuk. It was over.
It was really over.
A/N: Okayyy, so there is that chapter and I hope it wasn't too bad. Soooo, what did you guys think? Good? Bad? Okay? Eh? Blah? All of the above? =) I just wanted to say one thing here (or more like two or three or eleven). So, my dear friend for life pjvj10 just updated her livejournal with her story Misunderstood and well, if you're a Yesung lover like HaruJuju then you might want to click that link (Misunderstood up there) and read and comment because all authors like comments. She's up to chapter 8 and won't let me read early so I have to wait like everyone else, but the least I could do was let you guys know. It is a Eunhyuk/Yesung pairing. And one more thing in this ridiculously long A/N, I have posted a request thing. Point is if you have any requests I am now taking them. All you have to do is leave a comment here and Ana(me) will get to it. So hope you enjoyed the chapter and I hope you don't hate me or Donghae too much. I love you all <3 OH and this read this too. This is a super awesome fic that my bb pjvj10 just posted Click it's an Eunhae and lovely and it has some Hanchul (YAY) and some Yewon (ninja and more YAY);